Rolling Over

Written Dec 11, 2011

Timothy is making plenty of different noises, smiling more and is now laughing (though occasionally at inappropriate times).

He continues to grab things and is discovering his hands; rubbing his hands together like a cross between a plotting evil genius and Ed Sullivan.  The winners in the grabbing wars are t shirt manufacturers, as we’ve been on a t-shirt buying spree ever since the wee man realized that he can pull on my shirt collar like the reins of a pony.

Timothy did not ace his earlier hearing tests, and so he recently saw both an audiologist and an Ear Nose and Throat specialist.  His hearing is pretty good in his right ear, less good in his left.  He has fluid in his ears, and the plan is to put tubes in his ears during his followup colon surgery in Feb (when they’ll reconnect the plumbing so he doesn’t need the colostomy bag).  But his left ear canal is very narrow, and they may not be able to put a tube in it, which may mean considering whether to get a left tube later or possibly a temporary hearing aid.  Hearing is important for learning to speak and also to be able to hear his parents’ words of wisdom, so we’ll watch this closely.

This week, he started rolling over from his stomach to his back.  This means that we’re helping him roll over at the same time that we’re trying to prevent the newest Lee driver from rolling over the FourRunner.

Speaking of cars, we’ve been on many long driving trips, and we’re not great without a good map. Some of our best arguments -– Battle of Barcelona and Tiff in Tuscaloosa come to mind –- happened when we were driving in a new city without a good map.  When we have a good map, we feel like we know where we’re going.

But some of our recent experiences feel like driving without a clear map, when trying to size up the situation and make informed decisions for Timothy.

We’re lucky that he’s been getting amazing medical care and developmental help, and those people have been more than willing to answer all of our questions.  Plus, we haven’t had to make many big medical decisions about the sultan of spit up.

But this is still a new deal for us.  And it’s natural to want to know everything and there’s a ton of information out there and it can be hard to know what’s really important.

It’s like any of us trying to navigate and advocate for ourselves, an aging parent or our child.

At times, Laura and I fall into a variation of the Good Cop/Bad Cop routine, what you might call Sane Parent/ Crazy Parent.  In some of our recent situations, it’s hard to even know the best questions to ask.  So one of us (Crazy parent) will ask the doctor a few too many questions in an effort to really understand the situation.

At the same time, the other one of us recognizes that it is their turn to be rational and calm (Sane parent), in order to keep track of what we’re learning and to assure the medical professionals that we’re actually good people and that they should continue to treat our little red haired boy.

The good news is that with Timothy we’ve always been receiving outstanding medical and developmental care.  These people have been helpful and patient and are truly helping us fill in the map.

But the process can be a little messy and sometimes uncomfortable, and I’d love to say we won’t see any more Sane parent/ Crazy parent appearances, but at least we’re getting much better when we don’t have a complete map.

So that’s good, and as long as Timothy is the only one rolling over, we should be fine.

Dizzy but grateful,

The Lees

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